Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
