What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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