Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
