She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
