i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
