it wasn't lemon gatorade
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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