She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
