after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
