Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
