she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
