he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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