You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
