I puked a lego.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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