we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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