I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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