So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
