did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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