are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
