fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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