R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
