This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
