Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
