If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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