It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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