is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
