margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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