Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
