I want to stick my p in your. b.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Boobs speak an international language.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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