I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
