loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
