someone get that fucking seahorse.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
