apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
