weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
