he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
