Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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