guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't think brook has ever known best
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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