when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
