Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
