i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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