Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
