I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
