Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
