There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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