doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
