I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
