my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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