would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I looked at my own cervix.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
