i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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