who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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