...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
