a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
