i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
