Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
